September Is Suicide Prevention Month: How to Have the Conversation We’re Often Afraid to Have

Written by: Erin Choice, LPC

September is Suicide Prevention Month, a time dedicated to increasing awareness, reducing stigma, and reminding people that conversations about mental health can matter more than we sometimes realize.

Most of us know how to respond when someone tells us they are physically sick. We ask what happened. We offer help. We check on them later.

But when someone seems emotionally overwhelmed, hopeless, withdrawn, or simply not like themselves, we may hesitate.

What if I say the wrong thing?

What if I make them uncomfortable?

What if I ask about suicide and put the idea in their head?

Those fears are understandable, but they can also keep us from having an important conversation.

Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can do is simply ask.

Asking About Suicide Does Not Put the Idea in Someone's Head

One of the most persistent myths surrounding suicide is that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide might introduce the idea or make them more likely to act on it.

Asking directly and compassionately about suicide does not cause suicidal thoughts. Instead, it can give someone permission to talk honestly about what they are experiencing.

You don't need perfect words.

You might say:

• "You've seemed really overwhelmed lately. How are you doing—really?"

• "I'm worried about you. You've said a few things that make me wonder if you're feeling hopeless."

• "Sometimes when people are hurting this much, they think about hurting themselves. Have you been having thoughts like that?"

• "Are you thinking about suicide?"

Using the word suicide may feel uncomfortable, but being clear is important. This isn't a conversation where we need to rely on hints.

Pay Attention When Something Feels Different

There isn't one specific behavior that tells us someone is considering suicide. People experience emotional distress differently, and some people may continue going to work, caring for their families, laughing with friends, or appearing outwardly successful while struggling internally.

However, significant changes in behavior or mood deserve attention.

Possible warning signs can include talking about wanting to die or feeling hopeless, withdrawing from people or activities, expressing that they feel like a burden, dramatic changes in mood, increased substance use, significant changes in sleeping or eating, giving away meaningful belongings, saying goodbye in unusual ways, or engaging in increasingly risky behavior.

Statements such as "Everyone would be better off without me," "I can't do this anymore," or "There's no point" should not automatically be dismissed as someone being dramatic or simply having a bad day.

You don't have to determine whether someone is "serious enough" before checking on them.

Listen Before You Try to Fix It

When someone shares that they are struggling, our instinct may be to immediately make things better.

We remind them of everything they have going for them. We tell them how much their family loves them. We suggest solutions. We reassure them that things will get better.

Those responses usually come from love, but a person in significant emotional pain may need something different first:

They need to feel heard.

Try listening without immediately correcting their feelings.

Instead of:

"But you have so much to live for."

Try:

"I'm really glad you told me. I want to understand what you've been dealing with."

Instead of:

"Don't say things like that."

Try:

"That sounds incredibly heavy. You don't have to handle this conversation alone."

You don't need to become someone's therapist. Your role can simply be to listen, take their concerns seriously, and help connect them with additional support.

Don't Promise to Keep Suicidal Thoughts a Secret

If someone tells you they are considering suicide, they may ask you not to tell anyone.

While protecting someone's privacy is important, immediate safety takes priority over secrecy.

If you believe someone may be in danger, involve additional support. Depending on the circumstances, that might include a trusted family member, mental health professional, physician, crisis counselor, or emergency service.

You can still be compassionate while being clear:

"I care about you too much to keep this to myself if you're not safe. Let's figure out who we can contact together."

Whenever possible, make the person part of the process rather than making decisions around them without explanation.

Connection Doesn't End After the Conversation

Sometimes we become very attentive during a crisis and unintentionally disappear once the immediate danger seems to have passed.

Continue checking in.

Send the text.

Make the call.

Invite them to lunch.

Ask how the therapy appointment went.

And don't be afraid to ask the difficult question again.

Support doesn't always require a grand gesture. Consistent connection can remind someone that they are seen, valued, and not navigating a difficult season completely alone.

If You or Someone You Know Needs Help

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress, help is available.

Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can also chat with a crisis counselor through 988lifeline.org.

If there is an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

Mental health professionals, primary care providers, and other trusted healthcare professionals can also help individuals access ongoing support and treatment.

One Conversation Can Open a Door

Suicide prevention isn't limited to therapists, doctors, crisis counselors, or September awareness campaigns.

It can also happen between friends.

Between coworkers.

Between siblings.

Between parents and children.

Between two people sitting together when one realizes the other isn't quite themselves.

You don't need to have all the answers to start the conversation.

You don't need the perfect response.

You simply need to be willing to notice, ask, listen, and help someone connect with support when they need it.

This September, we can become a little more comfortable having the conversations that make us uncomfortable.

Because sometimes asking "Are you okay?" is only the beginning.

The next question may matter even more:

"Are you safe?"

You Don't Have to Navigate This Alone

If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of suicide, experiencing emotional distress, or simply needing additional mental health support, Living Wellness is here to help. Reaching out for support can be an important step toward feeling heard, supported, and connected to the care you need.

Please contact Living Wellness at 443.272.1429 to learn more about available mental health services or to schedule an appointment.

If you are experiencing an immediate mental health crisis or are in danger of harming yourself, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call 911, or go to your nearest emergency department. Living Wellness should not be used as a substitute for emergency or crisis services.